I’m inventing an app

You’d think finding my car in a parking lot wouldn’t be the most stressful part of my day. As I aimlessly and embarrassingly wander up and down rows of cars trying to locate my tiny black Chevy cobalt in a sea of similar looking cars, it hits me-

“I wish there was an app for that”

One that would prevent me from looking like a complete idiot who failed to remember where they parked their vehicle just a short 50 minutes before. Once I forgot I parked my car on the complete opposite side of campus and it only took me ten minutes, and three other people helping me, until I realized. Now that was a walk of shame if I ever took one.

Yeah the alarm button is a solution, but what does a blaring, repeating horn symbolize? An idiot who forgot where she parked her car.

Therefore, I will create an app that will not only help me find my car quicker, but also save me from looking like an idiot. Now only if that app could be as effective on the weekends, then I’d be golden.

Unrealistic expectations we should all stop expecting

Just like everyone else, I wake up and check Twitter. Or when I’m supposed to be doing homework, I naturally procrastinate on Twitter. Twitter is great, I’m not dissing Twitter. What I am dissing is the stupid posts. And I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about.

We all follow those stupid accounts that post stupid material and if you say you don’t, I’d say you’re lying. Or if you say you follow some girl who retweets this material, then you have definitely questioned why you’re following her. Either way, what is not okay is while I’m casually scrolling through my timeline and I come across this:

Screen Shot 2015-09-29 at 12.35.18 PM

or this:

Screen Shot 2015-09-29 at 12.28.44 PM

I need less of this in my life.

The fact that I even have to encounter these type of tweets aggravate me to no end. Does anyone actually believe these situations to be true? And if you think so, I’d like you to produce actual proof. Show me a living, breathing guy who will spare one of his beloved hoodies, who can simultaneously play “games” while watching TV, and who will not complain when you ask him to play with your hair. If he exists, keep him. But I want no association because that scenario just sounds creepy.

Let’s be realistic. If a guy can return my texts, that’s all that matters to me. I’m not saying we as girls should expect less from guys, (because I’m not, we deserve the world) all I’m saying is let’s not encourage inaccuracy or pretend this stuff actually matters. If a guy was “crazy” about you to the point you were all he talked about, I’m pretty sure you would get the papers to start filing for a restraining order.

See the problem? We’re confusing what happens in the movies with what happens in the real, cold, harsh world. At the end of the day, I can wear my own hoodie, watch what I want on TV, and put my hair in a bun if I feel like it. WHY is it so “goals” for a guy to make that enjoyable for me? (No I’m not bitter from a break up, why do you ask?)

I’m not saying these tweets are the end to the world, but the world would be a better place without them.

But all in all, these kind of tweets never fail to entertain me throughout the day as I wonder, who is really behind these accounts? It sure as hell isn’t a 20-something college girl who’s experiencing life in the fast lane, with only five miles to empty, and her left headlight out. Just me?

I’ll end with a tweet that is more relevant to my life:

Screen Shot 2015-09-29 at 12.56.15 PMNow this speaks to me.