Just like every other holiday, Halloween is another excuse to focus on something other than my pressing commitments.
I tend to go all out, as if the success in planning for this once a year event will determine my ability to feel accomplished. Halloween is probably the one holiday that I take very serious. And I rarely take anything serious.
Serious as in “I’d rather spend my time and money on something I’ll only use once because thats how messed up my priorities are.”
It’s so strange how differently I look at these situations now that I’m older. I used to think that I was too mature to dress up- yet I was in middle school so I probably didn’t know what the word ‘mature’ even meant. For my own sake, I should have appreciated having unlimited time to come up with a good idea and been thankful for my parents money that would have funded that idea. God, I hate younger-me.
Now when I actually want to celebrate Halloween, having no free time and single digits in my bank account doesn’t allow me to do so as easily. I’ll have to resort to putting a sheet over my head and calling it a day.
But I won’t. Knowing me I’ll spend money I don’t have on something I don’t need while convincing myself my priorities can wait until November. And obviously Halloween is done very differently in college than when we were younger, but hey, just because I didn’t appreciate the holiday then, doesn’t mean I can’t make up for loss time now. Does it count if I replace the candy with alcohol?
It seems like we spend our lives wanting to grow up and when we finally do, we only wish to be young again. To think I thought I was “too mature” in middle school. Here I am, almost 21 years old, counting down the days until Halloween. Oh how far I’ve come.