Unrealistic expectations we should all stop expecting

Just like everyone else, I wake up and check Twitter. Or when I’m supposed to be doing homework, I naturally procrastinate on Twitter. Twitter is great, I’m not dissing Twitter. What I am dissing is the stupid posts. And I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about.

We all follow those stupid accounts that post stupid material and if you say you don’t, I’d say you’re lying. Or if you say you follow some girl who retweets this material, then you have definitely questioned why you’re following her. Either way, what is not okay is while I’m casually scrolling through my timeline and I come across this:

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or this:

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I need less of this in my life.

The fact that I even have to encounter these type of tweets aggravate me to no end. Does anyone actually believe these situations to be true? And if you think so, I’d like you to produce actual proof. Show me a living, breathing guy who will spare one of his beloved hoodies, who can simultaneously play “games” while watching TV, and who will not complain when you ask him to play with your hair. If he exists, keep him. But I want no association because that scenario just sounds creepy.

Let’s be realistic. If a guy can return my texts, that’s all that matters to me. I’m not saying we as girls should expect less from guys, (because I’m not, we deserve the world) all I’m saying is let’s not encourage inaccuracy or pretend this stuff actually matters. If a guy was “crazy” about you to the point you were all he talked about, I’m pretty sure you would get the papers to start filing for a restraining order.

See the problem? We’re confusing what happens in the movies with what happens in the real, cold, harsh world. At the end of the day, I can wear my own hoodie, watch what I want on TV, and put my hair in a bun if I feel like it. WHY is it so “goals” for a guy to make that enjoyable for me? (No I’m not bitter from a break up, why do you ask?)

I’m not saying these tweets are the end to the world, but the world would be a better place without them.

But all in all, these kind of tweets never fail to entertain me throughout the day as I wonder, who is really behind these accounts? It sure as hell isn’t a 20-something college girl who’s experiencing life in the fast lane, with only five miles to empty, and her left headlight out. Just me?

I’ll end with a tweet that is more relevant to my life:

Screen Shot 2015-09-29 at 12.56.15 PMNow this speaks to me.

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Monday Muse

It wouldn’t be a Monday if I didn’t wake up annoyed, tired, and unenthusiastic. The thought of a long and stressful week makes me want to crawl back into bed and never resurface… until lunch, because I actually look forward to lunch no matter what day of the week it is.

I’m convinced the weekend lasts about five minutes. Five awesome minutes. Sometimes I like to pretend the weekend is four days instead of two because in my opinion, Friday and Monday should be optional. They should be considered “transitioning days” just saying. But I don’t have enough skips in my classes to make that expectation a reality.

Waking up to a newly shattered iPhone screen this morning sums up my weekend pretty well. (there goes $100 bucks to repair it including a lecture from my parents!)

Mondays in college suck, period. It’s when all the responsibilities you were able to avoid all weekend, come at you like a freight train. It could be my birthday and I would still be upset at the fact that it landed on a Monday. I should probably get some coffee and suck it up and get through this dreadful day.

Until next time, bed.

5 things I wish I knew before college

There’s got to be a rule book of some sort out there. And if not, I would be more than willing to write it. Though considering my savvy procrastination skills, that book would not likely be published until I’m 80.

Being the first born child in my family, I had no idea what to expect or what was expected of me when entering this chapter in my life. Little did I know, this chapter would be the most important four pages of my life. Somehow (and shockingly), I’m already on page three, but I will never forget that first blank page that’s filled with typos, white-out, and evidence of spilled drinks.

Disclaimer: I am by no means saying that I am an expert at college-ing, because I’m most definitely not, BUT, I will share what I wish I knew knowing what I know now.

1.Nobody cares who you were in high school.

The only exception to that is probably your freshman roommate because she definitely stalked you on Facebook to make sure you weren’t a total nut job or serial killer. And if you can’t admit you did the same to her, you’re probably lying.

I remember decorating my freshman dorm with a million pictures of my friends from back home in an attempt to appear as if I was a fun, likable person.

“Look at all these unnecessary photos of me and my friends at the beach along with this awkward picture of me in 10th grade with this jerk, but isn’t he really cute?”

I don’t know who I was trying to impress because in reality, I didn’t even like half the people hanging on my wall. So by the end of the semester, I took them all down. I realized people only care about the person standing in front of them, not where they came from. So don’t even bother printing out those 300 photos. Take new ones.

2. Get involved.

I never did. It took me three years to do so, and I regret it. There’s so many opportunities to meet new people and gain experience that it’s almost stupid not to take advantage of what’s right in front of you. Clubs, sports team, or hell even an on-campus job could make such a difference at the end of the day (or potentially in four years). You’re paying a fortune anyway, might as well get a bang for your buck.

3. Make mistakes. Learn from them. Make some more.

I can’t stress enough how valuable I cherish my own teachable moments. As a freshman, you’re supposed to slip-up; it wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t. How were you supposed to know the dining hall didn’t open until 10 a.m. on weekends? (as your staring at the locked doors in the same outfit you wore out the night before). Once I arrived to my 8:30 a.m. class at 9:30 a.m. with 15 minutes left and I didn’t realize until we were dismissed. I’m not ashamed, I was a freshman, and that’s a liable excuse in itself.

mistakes meme

Though the most important mistakes you will make are the ones that involve tears. Hate to say it, but those reveal the most crucial lessons you will ever learn. I probably cried every other day as a freshman (not really but you get the point) but man, I realized the most important lessons are the ones you are able to teach yourself.

4. That upperclassman guy is not the sun.

As a freshman girl, you’re basically a piece of bread about to be dropped into a coy pond. It’s not a bad thing, but it potentially could be. I’m taking a taste of my own medicine as I write this, so I can say from experience; he’s not that special. There’s no time for a broken heart when you’re trying to balance University 101 homework and get to your passport event on time, am I right?! (sorry! Bonaventure joke.)

Pay attention to your peers; those awkward yet awesome guys who are right there in front of you (who you most likely have already friend-zoned). Guarantee those guys are the sun, even if you do consider them just a friend. Some of the best people you will ever meet, are the people you won’t have to impress.

One last thing; listen to your friends when it comes to this stuff. Maybe he could be everything and more, but in the chance that he’s not and you find your friends constantly reminding you of that, listen. At the end of the day, you only have yourself and the friends who will never judged you. Do the same for them.

5. Save your money.

Don’t buy that overpriced black dress online just because your grandma sent you money that morning. Walk down the hall and borrow an identical one from your friend. This goes for food too… Do you really need a large pizza AND cheesy bread?  The answer is probably yes because who doesn’t want both, but realistically, you don’t need it. Your wallet doesn’t need it either because at the end of the week you’re going to wish you had that money for something else…and I’m pretty sure I don’t need to clarify what that something is.

I blew through so much money my first semester of freshman year simply because I could. You can guess how much I hated myself coming April when my bank account contained a whopping $0.58 cents. And you can guess how much my parents hated me even more.

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Off brand, off brand, off brand.

I’ll make better mistakes tomorrow

It’s 1 a.m. and I’m drinking a large french vanilla cappuccino from 7 Eleven attempting to finish a project. Why do I do this to myself?

This semester just begun and I have never felt so unprepared. I’m pretty sure my freshman year mentality hasn’t outgrown my junior year physique causing me to convince myself that my undisciplined actions will have little consequence. It’s not that I am a horrible student or that I don’t care about my priorities… I am just slow to “adult”. I’m scary good at procrastinating my responsibilities.

I just spilled my stupid cappuccino all over my bed.

I’m only mad because I know I’ll go buy new sheets instead of washing them. Here’s a perfect example of my inner struggle to want to have a handle on my life, but then stumbling upon the loop holes.

I can’t be the only one; though I may as well be considering I am always still up cramming to finish my homework while my roommates sleep. Sleep is for the weak anyway in my opinion. No one remembers the nights you got too much sleep right? …or whatever that irrelevant quote says.

I hope at least freshman me would be proud. She didn’t know how good she had it.